The Recipe for Crazy


The Recipe for Crazy

“DANE!  DANNNNNE!” I yell.  Ugh, where is he?  Just forget it, as I carry on dressing the kids, packing lunches, making breakfast, feeding the mutant dog, and changing a poopy diaper (after I had just changed her, of course).   Suddenly, he leisurely walks in the door.  “Where have you been?”  I barked.  “I was rolling out the trash.”  Sweet Moses!  Am I the only woman in the world who does laps around her husband?  I mean, I’m talking snail.  Now, there’s a very good chance he was out there watching the sunrise, cleaning out his car, hell–maybe even taking a walk…anything to ignore the shit that has to go down to get these clowns to school.

C’mon, don’t get me wrong.  I love my husband, and I know he makes a ton of sacrafices for our family. My point is this:  Why is it that I can accomplish 6 things to his 1?  I realize that he’s just as busy as I am, only in different ways.  I guess I just wish he could really understand what happens in my world on a typical day:

  • 10 lbs of laundry
  • 1 load of dishes
  • 3 Whole Meals (6 if you have picky eaters)
  • 1 quart of work
  • 1 pint of planning summer camps
  • 100 miles on the car
  • 4 clean air filters
  • a trip to the doctor (wait 2 hours until next step)
  • 1 grumpy kid (let him simmer 5 minutes)

Stir together and throw in a few more needs, and you have a bowl of crazy.  Seriously, I’m talking, trying to call someone on a calculator, NUTS!

So, when Dane comes home and sees the look of insanity on my face, then proceeds to ask me, “What’s wrong?” I grumble, “I’m tired, damn it!”  Does no one notice the trash overflowing, the empty toilet paper roll, or the pile of newspapers on the front porch? I even take pictures of all of the ridiculousness and text it to him in a game I call:  “What’s wrong with this picture?”  Overboard?  Maybe.  But, I get angry and resentful assuming he’s ignoring it all on purpose.  I wish he would voluntarily do the chores around the house without me having to ask, but after several of our heated debates, I’m beginning to understand this is how he’s wired.  It’s not intentional, it’s just not something he recognizes.

For all you moms who feel unappreciated, tired, and crazy, I salute you and celebrate you for all you do:

  • smiling when you want to cry
  • listening when you want to yell
  • rocking when you want to sleep
  • cooking when they don’t eat it
  • remembering countless appointments and shoe sizes
  • knowing where every single object in the house is located
  • planning vacations, birthday parties and holidays
  • loving when you want to feel loved

YOU ARE INCREDIBLE….you really are!  You’re amazing, and there’s a huge tribe in this with you.  In the meantime, there’s always hope.  If there’s life after death, we’re coming back as men

Much Love,


#parentingishard #justbeyou #hanginthere


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