That Damn “F Word”

 

img_3243That Damn “F Word”

By this time, you know I’m pretty candid with my words, and this nasty little four letter “f word” isn’t off limits in my vocabulary.  In fact, I feel like it’s a necessity when I’m uncovering who I am and who I want to be.  FEAR.

Why is this word so taboo, yet that other four letter “f word” is standard English these days?  Being human, not a day goes by where I’m not afraid.  I believe that our deepest fears is not that we’re insufficient, but that we are actually powerful beyond measure.  It’s our strengths not our weaknesses that scare us most.  It’s easier to live with what I know rather than risk something unknown, which could enhance life.  We ask ourselves, who am I to be talented or gifted in anything, but the larger question is:  Who are you not to be?  You aren’t serving the world if you aren’t fulfilling your purpose.  When you follow fear instead of your inner voice because it’s safe and easy, you’re insulting God…HE is that inner voice you are neglecting.

As a wife, mom, entrepreneur, friend and so much more, my mind overflows with apprehensions of judgement, failure, and second guessing myself.  I’m scared

  • my best won’t be good enough;
  • of losing control of the situations in my life;
  • of loving without reservations;
  • of making the right decisions;
  • of what others might think of me

But what if I just let go and let life lead the dance?  Acknowledging my fear is one of my biggest powers.  No longer will it suppress my curiosities and dreams, because I’m taking a stand.  Now, when I’m fearful, I can say:  Fear, I know you’re there, but I’m doing this anyway.  You can decide to pester the shit out of me, or you can come along for the ride.  I won’t let you control my purpose any longer, so get on or off the bus. I’m telling you, it has changed who I am.  Acknowledge your fear, and it will become afraid of you.

Look, feeling scared or nervous doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough to do what you’re trying to accomplish.  Actually, it probably means you’re doing exactly what you should be doing. Life isn’t about being perfect.  Nor does it require you to be fearless and without self-doubt, but it does require you to show up and play.  You see, although society is really good at convincing us we can’t do things, don’t believe it.  Stay encouraged, work hard and let your fear propel you into greatness.

How will you be remembered?

Much Love,

Erica

Let’s Get Real

Turner car

It was like EVERY other morning, and we’re rushing around as if the house is on fire.  “Mom, don’t forget my snack!”  “Mom, tie my shoes!” “Mom, where’s my jacket?”  AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It’s not even 7:15 a.m., and I’m about to lose my S#%T! We finally get everyone loaded in, buckled up, so now, cue the fighting.  Then, Turner, my middle, screams “YOU FORGOT MY MILK THIS MORNING!”  I nearly snap, but instead, crank up the music so loudly to drown out the whine.  I ignore him, as I’ve mastered the art of with each additional kid.  He continues to yell “YOU”RE FIRED!”  My first thought:  Can I draw unemployment and head to a tropical island?  We roll up to the carpool line, and I feel like I can’t screech out of there fast enough.  WHEW, not my problem for 7 full hours, so let the race against the clock begin.  I head to the store, as I do every other day, because my ankle-biters like to raid the kitchen about 6 times a day (and hide their trash under the couch, that’s another story for another day).  So, I’m at Kroger enjoying the silence and oneness.  You know it’s bad when Krogering feels like a Hawaiian vacation.  I’m running through my “to do” list in my head – scrub the ring around the toilet, get rid of old clothes (I think Turner might still be squeezing into 3T stuff–he’s almost 5), get Ophelia a grooming appointment–once again, she’s a story for another day.  Then, mid-thought, it hit me…like my boys hit each other-GUILT.  

Oh yes, you know the kind I’m speaking of that continually rears it’s ugly head-mom guilt.  Erica, you really should be more patient with them.  I need to interact with them more…hell, they’re learning more from YouTube than me.  I need to cook more, make them laugh more, love more.  

Every night, when I tuck my sweet peas to bed, I tell them:  You can be anything you want to be as long as you are kind and trying your best.  I care about this more than any grade, any score, any award or certificate.  As long as they are giving life everything they can give, that’s more than enough for me.  But, why isn’t that enough when it comes to me, personally?  If I feel I’m doing the absolute best I can do, why isn’t it enough?  It’s because I compare myself with other moms and feel inadequate when I don’t add up.  The truth is, none of us have it all figured out.  I have unique strengths and weaknesses that make my journey different than anyone’s else’s.  I’m learning when I give myself a little credit, I receive a sense of okayness.  At the end of the day, if I’m giving it my all, that’s sufficient.  Heaven knows, the only thing my kiddos want is their mom, unapologetically.  

Much Love,

Erica

When Did Our Children Lose Their Dreams To Our Own?

Kids Christmas 2015 2

How often do we, as parents, sit down with our kiddos and REALLY listen to them?  Do we know what they love doing?  How they think they’re talented?  Or even, the things they dislike?  We tend to push our personal agendas on our children for our own self-fulfillment, but what about theirs?  Do their wants, dreams, and desires not stand a chance?  And, if their passion is to become a doctor, a mechanic, or a business owner, will we foster that dream or try to deter them from it due to our own ego and insecurities?  Little do we realize, but when we dictate their lives, we are insinuating we don’t trust their judgement.  But don’t they know themselves better than we do?  And if our kids comply with what we want because they think it’s the only way to make us proud, will they resent us later for forcing our own ideas down their throats?

Why in the hell do we think all kids should be in a competitive sport, playing an instrument, learning another language, or going to an Ivy League school?  Everyone is different.  We don’t all need the same things to help us thrive.  We listen to each other, and it’s like a rat race of who can push their children the furthest.  Are we afraid to step away from the crowd, and let our little ones take their own journeys?  To me, we’ve become so focused on how everyone else perceives our kids, that we’re forgetting to instill some very important life lessons.  Let’s start by teaching them how to make wise choices, encouraging them to discover their OWN purpose in life, and be a living example of how to treat others with kindness, love and respect.  Fostering a safe environment of unconditional love is how I want to be remembered.  Letting them flourish and discover their own beliefs, convictions, and passions is our most important job.  In giving them our trust, we receive them, just how God intended them to be.

How will you be remembered?